Left To My Own Devices

During my regular morning perusal of Theguardian.com I came across a rather depressing story. I know there have been many of late, but this  had nothing to do with the daily flood of diarrohea from SCROTUS. On the technology page I read that Apple has stopped making the iPod Nano and Shuffle, the last two stand – alone MP3  players in their catalogue. I am sure that this item didn’t create even the tiniest blip on the personal radars of most people, but it took the edge off my day for a number of reasons.

I should point out that I understand why Apple did this: they want the iPhone to be all things to all people, and want everyone to rely on their little block of plastic, glass and silicon for everything.  From an economic perspective it makes sense, as simplifying product lines improves efficiency and simplifies the supply chain, but it left me feeling cold. Let me explain:

I’m an alien. I was born on the planet analogue and for many years lived a conventional life among humans, blending in ( apart from the Aspergers) and getting by. I had a very large vinyl collection, and it gave me great comfort. to quote the band Cornershop, “Everyone needs a bosom for a pillow, mine’s on the 45”, even though it occupied more of my bedroom than I did. I ignored CDs until it was too late,and managed to survive the 90’s by pretty much ignoring contemporary music. My life changed when my then Father In Law bought me a third generation iPod after my then wife asked him what version would be best for my commute.  I was faced with the opportunity to put more  music in my shirt pocket than I could put in my bedroom, and I embraced it without question. I was stunned, don’t get me wrong, but the ability to hold 30 days of non stop music in my hand was more than I could believe.

In my youth I owned a Walkman. Every Saturday I would have to decide which four tapes  I  would put into the pockets of my Italian army combat jacket  before I took the train into Liverpool to spend my money on music. It was not a simple task: : picking the wrong tape meant I would be stuck listening to something for which  I wasn’t in the mood, and let’s face it, that really stinks. The iPod gave me the opportunity to change my mind and to create playlists longer than half a dozen compilation tapes. Lest you think I put my past behind me, think again. I have two large boxes stuffed with C 90 tapes stored in the closet and three, yes, count ’em, three functioning Walkmen, as well as two boom boxes.  My first iPod had a duff battery, but the second one lasted well, especially after my son replaced the corrupt hard drive that after almost 10 years finally gave up the ghost. I also bought one of the last generation models, as 160 GB should keep me going for some time, and when I bought it, I regarded my 80 GB model as beyond repair. I also have  a couple of shuffles, a 1GB and a newer 2GB model which I used to use exclusively for podcasts on my commute. I could clip the iPod to the headphone cord, and if wearing earbuds, it took up almost no space in whatever bag or Eastern European military map case I happened to be using that day.

It seems to me that the life cycles of electronic devices are getting shorter. We have become as accustomed to the concept of this year’s iPhone model as we have to the idea of this year’s new car model. A practice, I hasten to point out, which began in the 1920’s once sales began to level off. I mean, do we really need a new model phone every year? I’m still using a Galaxy 3, and it serves me darn well. In fact, I don’t even use all the functions, so in some respects, it is more than I need.

Phone batteries have a crappy lifespan, and the fact that I get a weeks’ worth of normal use out of  my iPod between charges is something I appreciate. I also appreciate the fact that it is a single function device, and therefore is subject to the inverse law of “The less there is to go wrong, the less there is to go wrong” I now have four devices that should last me a good 20 years between them, and I wonder how many of you can say the same things about your new iPhone? Do you know anyone who still uses a first generation iPhone? No, you don’t.

You’ll have to excuse me. I’m in the mood to listen to some original recordings of Caruso, but I just can’t find the right wax cylinder.

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Science Fiction Double Feature

This post is going to be fairly long, so you may want to find a comfortable chair.

Even from an early age, my daughter has  had tastes beyond her years, and films are no exception. She has a particular interest in science fiction films not normally seen in a 12 year old girl. I suppose to some extent this derives from her interest in the Harry Potter novels. When she was about six, her reading ability improved exponentially and she tore through the series in double quick time, which, of course, led to an interest in the films. I’m sure all parents will be familiar with this phenomenon, and anything that encourages kids to read is fine by me. Her interest in more intense material didn’t take long to manifest, however. Not long after this, she was looking through my DVDs and asked in all seriousness: “Dad, can I watch “Alien”?”. Noooooooo! was my instantaneous response, as you would expect. When she and her brother first met my sweetie at the EMP to view the Lego exhibit ( See “We Are Going To Be Friends”), I had to forcibly prevent her from entering the exhibit of horror film props as the notice made clear that it was unsuitable for young children.

Fast forward a few years. In an attempt to find something worth watching, I had asked members of the “Monster Talk” Facebook page for recommendations of horror/monster films that were either well worth watching, or so dreadful they deserved to be seen. I was able to find some of the titles, although some were not worth the effort. A case in point being the truly awful “Super Inframan“. Apparently the first major Chinese movie filmed entirely in Hong Kong, it deserves to be buried forever. It isn’t even good enough for the “So bad it’s good” category, and has production values so low it makes the work of Sid and Marty Kroft look like “Lord of the Rings”. I mention this cowpat of a film because my daughter asked me what was the worst film I’d ever seen, and despite explaining the plot to her, she insisted on watching it, and nothing I said could dissuade her. She lasted all of 20 minutes, before agreeing with my assessment and suggesting we turn off the DVD player.

This led to a discussion about Sci Fi in general, and films worth watching in particular. We watched “Rogue” together, a pale imitation of “Jaws” with a giant crocodile instead of a shark, and absolutely no tension and then moved on from monsters to traditional Sci Fi. As you no doubt can guess, I’m a fan of “Star Wars”, and we watched the original trilogy together, which she thoroughly enjoyed, although this meant she wanted to see the truly dreadful prequels, and I have no shame in admitting that I fell asleep during “The Phantom Menace”, although this did mean that she wanted to see the originals again as well as “The Force Awakens” a second time, her mother having bought the disc. Of course, we went to the cinema to see “Rogue One”, and she enjoyed it, although it could have been a much better film.

I ran out of suitable films for her to watch, and had already confirmed that her mother didn’t want her to see “Alien” when I said to her “Do you want to see “Alien”?”. I know, I know, but she’s an eminently sensible kid, and had explained that films don’t scare her, because she is “outside” of the action, unlike a book where she is drawn in by the narrative and experiences the story first hand. To be honest, the film is a lot less gory than I remembered, and she already knew of the “Chestburster” scene, so she wasn’t shocked by it. Naturally, we watched the first two sequels, but didn’t bother with the third as it is nothing more than a patchwork made up of elements of the first three. I was impressed by the way she handled the films, and asked a number of insightful questions throughout. She’s an expert at picking out errors, inconsistencies  and plot holes, so watching a film with her is a lot more fun than it would be with most kids her age.

I wasn’t sure how she’d handle “Arrival”, but she really enjoyed it, despite it being devoid of the usual Sci Fi elements. It raised a lot of interesting questions, and the production values and alien design really helped. I then suggested we watch “The Day The Earth Stood Still” in order to compare attitudes in the films to the arrival of aliens. I gave her a hint to keep an eye open to the parallel to a more famous story, but I had to explain it to her at the end: Klaatu’s arrival is heralded as a star in the east, he arrives with a message of peace to all men, he takes the name Carpenter, he has followers, he’s betrayed, he’s killed by soldiers and then rises from the dead and ascends into the heavens. She didn’t exactly give herself a dope slap for missing the comparison, but it all fell into place for her when I pointed it out.

The idea of first contact really appeals to her, so tomorrow we will be watching “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”, as yet another take on the subject. I don’t know why she has such a strong fascination for Sci Fi, but I do appreciate the opportunity it gives us to spend time together, and I have enough films to keep our weekend sessions going for quite some time. She’s as sharp as a needle, and I want to do all I can to encourage her interest and curiosity, and films give ample opportunity for that. I do have my limits, though. It will be  a cold day in hell before I let her watch John Carpenters’ “The Thing”.

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Entertain Me

Now that I have a lot more spare time on my hands than I’d like, I have had to find ways of occupying my attention. For someone who claims to be an avid reader, of late I have had very little motivation to open a book. Technically, I have two books on the go at the moment, one being the complete fiction of H.P. Lovecraft, and one on the history of the Celts. For some reason, I just don’t have the patience to sit down in a quiet room and read. I suppose I should get back into the habit while I still own some books, but who knows if I ever will.

I have been spending more time than is good for me playing video games, though. Even this attraction is beginning to pall, however. As you can imagine, new games are not in my budget, so I have been replaying those I already own. I have been a big “Call Of Duty” fan ever since  I had the opportunity to play the “United Offensive” expansion pack nearly 13 years ago.  Much as I love blowing stuff up, sniping and shooting fascists in the back as they run away, the games all blur into each other after a while, as there are a limited number of situations available, and one mad dash through a city or the countryside in an armed vehicle with a bunch of enemies in hot pursuit is very much like any other, be it in 1944 Normandy, modern day Russia or some post –  collapse nearish future.

This leaves television and films, and this is where I have to expend some actual effort. I don’t miss having television service, not for a minute, as the vacuity of most television makes even the biggest of super-massive black holes seem small and insignificant. when I do find something worth watching I tend to burn through it in very short order: A  case in point would be season two of “The Expanse”. I watched the first season on disc borrowed from the library, but as season two isn’t out yet, I looked online for a streamed version. I burned through the entire season in three days.  I know this is not much to those of you for whom binge watching is a fact of life, but in all probability you follow many shows, perhaps even on a one episode per week basis and have enough in your queue to keep you occupied. I don’t and now have to wait 12 months for the next season. Presuming of course, that I have a roof over my head and a screen on which to watch it.

Netflix has never appealed to me, as even $8 a month isn’t worth it to me, especially as there are plenty of free options. My sweetie subscribes, but she doesn’t watch all that much, and she tends to request films that don’t interest me at all. Of course, streaming has it’s drawbacks, and this manifested itself recently. My daughter is a big sci fi / horror fan ( the subject of a future post), and as she has inquired about my H.P. Lovecraft interest, I suggested we watch “The Whisperer In Darkness”, a film produced by the HPL Historical Society and made in the style of a 1930’s movie. I spent quite a while trying to find a feed that didn’t require me to subscribe and didn’t try and get me to download malware under some spurious context, but eventually one was found and we sat down to watch. Alas, it was not that simple. The feed was so slow that we watched the first 20 minutes in 10 second bursts with five second pauses in between. Even pausing the feed did no good, so I searched again and eventually found a feed that didn’t pause. Yay.

DVDs are my other, if somewhat limited choice. The county’s last DVD rental store shut down a couple of months ago, although I never used it, so make of that what you will. The library has a good selection, but it’s difficult to get the timing right. My sweetie and I watched all five seasons of “The Wire” on discs borrowed from the library, but the wait time for various seasons meant interruptions to our viewing, although it’s so great a show it was worth it. My own collection is also something of a problem, in that 90% of the films I burnt onto disc from the DVR in my married days were ones I’d already seen,  so I have little new content. I own quite a few movies and series, and recently  re-watched “Band Of Brothers” over the course of a week, so it will be a couple of years before I watch it again.

I dug out “The Prisoner”and am only three episodes away from the end, but I’m having difficulty in motivating myself to finish the set. The show hasn’t aged well, despite its’ cult status. I hate to write that last sentence, but it’s true. I haven’t watched the show since my ex bought me the complete box set for Christmas before my son was born, and it may well be another 16 years before I watch it again, if at all. To be honest, the show hasn’t stood the test of time. At times it borders on high camp and pastiche, the production values don’t hold up despite it’s high budget for the time, and the final episode is so pointless and full of dross as to define explanation.

The English football season is still two months off, so I don’t even have that to look forward to on Saturday mornings. I realise that all of the above can be categorised under “First world problems”, but once I’ve finished my work, my job searches and any chores I am motivated to undertake I still find myself with too much time on my hands. Does anyone have the complete run of The Simpsons on DVD they could lend me? It’s going to be a long summer.

 

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Filed under boredom, Reading, Television, Video games

Most Messed Up.

Now that I am only working half time, and most of that from home, you would imagine that I have plenty of time to take care of all those little household tasks that require attention. Well, imagine again. It would not be unreasonable to think that given the amount of free time on my hands, I should be living in a home that resembles the model unit at a new residential development. Once again, you’d be wrong to think that. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I don’t live in a dumpster, but for some reason, my living space is less than immaculate.

“Why is this?” I hear you ask. Well, actually, I don’t because not only don’t you read this blog, but my hearing is pretty much fucked, but I’m going to answer anyway. But first, let me say that I understand why so many single guys live like Neanderthals. Buying furniture, bedding, curtains, etc. is a harrowing ordeal. Going to Bed, Bath and Beyond is a nightmare that no single man should ever have to endure. The contact high from the Oestrogen pushes me two cup sizes higher. And that’s just in the walk from the car to the entrance.

Still, my travails in setting up a livable environment are well documented and need no repetition, so fast forward to the present. My Living Room is small, but serves the purpose and I try to avoid eating on the Futon as much as possible – late night snacking whilst watching a film and drinking excepted- but still, there  seems to be a permanent debris field of crumbs and random food particles on the rug no matter how careful I try to be. However, I have very little motivation in breaking out the stick vac. and clean up, partly because I know that in a couple of days the mess will return. Inevitably I will stand barefoot on some particularly sharp shard and will admit defeat by plugging in the vacuum.

I think part of the problem is that I have no separate kitchen, just a slightly larger than usual galley kitchen separated from the living room by the strip that covers the border between the carpet tiles and the lino, hence crumbs and general detritus have no significant barrier to migration. Actually, if I didn’t know better, I’d think that someone was breaking into the house at night and deliberately scattering crumbs on my floor. Intermittently I will do a proper clean of the house, removing everything from the kitchen counter and giving every hard surface a deep cleaning.

Until the 4th of July weekend I had deliberately avoided dealing with my son’s bedroom. I used to give each of the kids $5 for helping out around the house, which included keeping their rooms within accepted Western standards of hygiene, but as the cash has dried up, this went the way of all flesh. They still make their beds, and my son did gather up a lot of garbage, but the real horror lurked beneath his bed. He has a habit of eating whilst lying on his bed, and the fallout goes everywhere. A few months back I moved the bed away from the wall to find the top of the skirting board with crumbs so old they required carbon dating.

As Independence Day is not really my thing, I steeled my nerves, girded my loins and tidied the back room. Oh, and as my people gave you July 4 as a holiday, you’re welcome. Back in the day, the area beneath a teenage boy’s bed was the favourite hiding place for all manner of one handed reading, but at least the invention of the iPad and laptop have removed this horror from parent’s lives, so at least I can be thankful for that. It required the use of several wet paper towels to remove the mess, and I almost filled the dust container of the vacuum with assorted matter from the carpet, but at least I didn’t have to dispose of any questionable publications with their pages stuck together.

My daughter uses my room when with me, so I had less to deal with, although the pile of riding magazines on her desk almost required crampons and a belaying line to surmount. She’s a talented artist who seems to regard the surface of her desk as a blank canvas, so it took a gag – inducing amount of 409 to return the worktop to its original white. It didn’t occur to me until much later that I could have removed the top and sold it as a recently discovered Jackson Pollock original. Damn. That would have solved my financial problems.

Ah well, lesson learned.  I reckon I should put more effort into cleaning up the place and removing as much clutter and extraneous matter as possible. Despite downsizing as much as possible ( see “The Boxer and “Space Oddity”), I have acquired a lot of crap I don’t really need. A result of the OCD and pack rat mentality, I suppose. At least if I do, it will mean less stuff to deal with when I’m homeless.

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Last Night A D.J. Saved My Life

I’ve been putting this one off, as I’ve been somewhat unmotivated of  late, but recent events have got me going again. As you may well have realised, music is, and always has been an important part of my life. It has helped my through some pretty rough times, and made the good times even better. All you need to do is take a look at my post titles to work  out that music is a constant thread running through my life, but it goes a bit deeper than simply looking for appropriate titles.

I grew up  listening to the truly great John Peel and his impish, young sidekick Andy Kershaw on BBC Radio One. Peel is pretty much single-handedly responsible for bringing non-top thirty music to the BBC. As  far back as 1977 I can remember him playing the Buzzcocks’ “Spiral Scratch” EP in it’s entirety when no one else at Broadcasting House had even heard of them.  He kept on finding great bands and bringing them to the fore, and I can’t even begin to imagine how many tapes I filled over the years as I tuned in from 10 pm to midnight four days a week.

I would go as far as to say that Peelie was responsible for around 90% of my music collection. The bands he turned me towards led to other bands, and so on, in a situation that can only be described as rabbit holes all the way down. Kershaw was very much in the same vein, but with a different approach, and his contribution is not to be dismissed lightly.

Fast forward to 2014. I had finally gotten around to listening to KEXP on a regular basis. I know: I arrived here in 1992 and it took me this long to get round to listening to the only radio station that matters. This is due to a combination of pretty much ignoring new music during the whole of the 90’s and having an iPod. However, my sweetie convinced me to give the station a try, and I was hooked pretty much straight away. Not long afterwards, I awaited with great antici ……………………….pation ( I had to throw in that reference) the arrival of “International Clash Day #3”. I could only listen to the first hour on my way to work, and I was hooked. I heard some more on my way home and determined to preserve the day. This is where a touch of Aspergers helps, in that I copied the playlist into Word and then recreated as much of the playlist as I could – IN THE CORRECT ORDER. Yep. It helped that I had many of the tracks already and found many, many more without having to spend a fortune, and now the playlist sits on my iPod ready whenever I need a blast of great, great music.

It goes beyond that, though. KEXP  seem to be imbued with the spirit of John Peel, playing great music, regardless of age or provenance. I will admit that I’ve picked up on so many great acts just by tuning in whenever I get the chance – Tacocat, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, Phantogram, Underworld, Los Campesinos, to name but a few. One thing that really helps is that the D.J.s have total control over their shows, so they have the opportunity to react to events without having to get clearance from management or advertisers. This really makes them stand out. For example, in response to news of the Little Orange One’s Muslim ban, they played music from the seven countries affected. They devoted a whole day to the healing effects of music, playing tracks that had meaning to cancer patients and their families, A day given over to LGBTQ artists in support of Gay Pride, a whole day dedicated to the Beastie Boys’ album “Paul’s Boutique”, playing not just each track, but each track sampled for the album, in the correct order. Can you imagine the amount of work involved in tracking down each sample and the track from which it came? They even played “Should  I Stay or Should I Go?” followed by “Safe European Home” to kick off an afternoon devoted to British artists the day after the Brexit vote – totally spontaneously and much appreciated by yours truly

This kind of dedication really pays off: Every D.J. really cares about the music, and you can’t help but pick up on the enthusiasm. I’m not a Rockabilly fan by any means, but as “Shake The Shack” is on on Friday evenings, I get to hear quite a bit of the show as I run my daughter to and from her horse riding lessons. I’m never going to splash out on tickets for a concert, but I’ve really come to enjoy the genre – it’s always uplifting, fast paced and often quite humourous. I can see why some people are devoted to it, and I certainly wouldn’t turn the show off.

Being publically funded, they have regular spring and autumn pledge drives – a phrase that strikes dread into the hearts of most pubic radio and T.V. fans. However, not so this year. You see, last autumn I could afford to donate to the station, and felt very happy about it, not least because of the awesome tee shirt and hoodie I received as gifts in return for my donation. Of course, if I can afford it, I will re-up this autumn, and this meant that I didn’t turn the radio off during the pledge breaks.

Considering that the Toxic Revenger has pledged to end all funding for public broadcasting, this makes the pledge drives all  the more important, especially for those of us who want to hear more than just cool jazz, young country, oldies or classic rock when we press the ‘on’ button. I mean, where else can you hear Norwegian Rockabilly, Chilean Rap,  Portuguese  Hip Hop or Mexican Punk? Did you even know those genres exist? You  do now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under KEXP, Music, Public broadcasting, Radio

Doctor In The House.

As you will no doubt be aware, the Fucktard in Chief has been  spewing crap about the Affordable Care Act, and how he is going to replace it, and in fact, has a plan that is almost ready, (Not!). What really cracked my up was his comment about reforming healthcare – “Who knew it would be so difficult?” Well, just about anyone with a sixth grade education.  I’m covered by the ACA, and have been for a couple of years. It’s worked pretty well for me, in that my prescriptions and office visits were free. I hardly ever need to see the doctor, and the only time I’ve needed medical care in the last 12 months was last autumn when I found myself one Saturday afternoon shivering like a bowl of jelly in an earthquake and freezing under several layers with a temperature of 104.5F – the result of a bladder infection.

Alas, when it came to renewal time,  my policy was not one of the options, so I was forced to find a new one. The choices were not fantastic, and due to my straitened circumstances I was forced to pick the plan with the lowest monthly payment, there being no option that was fully funded. I signed up and waited for my card and confirmation which duly arrived in the goodness of time. So far, so good, you may say,  but hold on a minute.

I have a couple of daily medications that make it possible for me to function as a human being. Those who knew the un-medicated SingleDad will tell you that I was not a pleasant person to be around. Okay, so I’m not very pleasant to be around when properly medicated, but at least when experiencing better living through chemistry, I am someone around whom it is possible to be. I refilled my meds late last year and received a 90 day supply of each for a total cost of bubkas. Zilch. Costenlos. Free. Nice, eh? Especially as I was used to only getting a 30 day supply with  each renewal.

About two weeks ago I walked up to the clinic to update my details and was told that as my doctor was not part of the network, he was not a preferred provider, so although I could see him, it would cost me more than seeing an in-network doctor. Ugh. The thing is, I like my doctor. He’s a thoroughly nice chap,  knows his stuff and is always willing to hear me out, respond to questions and provide useful advice, so I saw no need to go physician hunting after having him as my M.D. for  over a decade. I also asked the receptionist to pass on the message that I needed a refill on my meds, and she duly made a note and a few days later I received an automated message from the pharmacy informing me that my refills were ready for pickup.

I walked up there a couple of days later, and  was told by the 12 year old assistant that with my insurance, the cost for a 30 day supply of both meds was $64. Let me repeat that: $64 WITH MY INSURANCE. I would say that this put me in a bind, but that would be a complete and utter lie, as due to my finances, $54 a month is well beyond my means, so I told her I couldn’t afford them and left. Well, that’s not entirely the truth. You see, I could have afforded them had I selected one of the following options:

  1. Not pay my electricity bill
  2. Not pay my phone bill
  3. Not pay my internet bill
  4. Not buy any food for the kids.

I already don’t  buy food for myself except for essentials, so that last one isn’t me being mean. Which option would you have chosen? Please send your answer with an explanation not exceeding 100 words on the back of a $20 bill to…No, hang on, better make that the back of a blank cheque.

So, I’m fucked. And when I say fucked, I mean fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked. I do have a small secret stash, the result of having to stockpile a couple of years ago in anticipation of my ex cutting me from her insurance, but that won’t last forever. Thankfully, one of my meds is in traditional pill form, so I have been able to split them, allowing me to take half a pill every other day. “Yikes”, I hear you say, but seeing as I started out on 1/3 of my current dose,  and the effect was like flicking a switch, and the pills are extended release, I should be fine for a while. My other medication is in capsule form, so I will leave them until the pills run out and then take one every other day. On this schedule I reckon I have enough to last a couple of  months, although I have some trepidation about lowering my dose to essentially 1/8 of my required regime.

It’s not a pretty thought, but I have to make them last as long as possible. I did have an online interview last week, but seeing as I was told they would be making a decision some time early this week and I have yet to hear from them, I can pretty much guarantee that they won’t be offering me the job, but that’s a subject for a different pity party.

It will be interesting, in a morbid sort of way, to see which runs out first – the money or the meds. To be honest, I’m trying very hard not to think about it, for obvious reasons, but as you can imagine, both subjects are looming large, no matter what I do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under mental health, Person health

(WE DON’T NEED THIS) FASCIST GROOVE THANG.

Well, that didn’t take long, did it? Normally, one would expect a new head of state to spend a couple of weeks coming to terms with the position, perhaps give the tyres a kick, adjust the seat and the mirrors and then take a short drive around the block, but no! It would appear that Der  Trumpfer jumped straight into the drivers’ seat, slammed the accelerator to the floor and set off on what appears to be a reenactment of the goriest bits of “Deathrace 2000.” I thought, presumably like a lot of other right minded people, that a lot of his blather on the campaign trail was simply red meat thrown to the mob, but it appears that he actually meant what he said. Who’d a thunk it?

Thankfully, those  who don’t watch Fox “news” had an instant Howard Beale moment and made sure everyone knew about it. It was gratifying to see that the attendance at the Women’s March in D.C. exceeded by a considerable amount the attendance at the inauguration, and at so many other marches not only around the U.S, but all over the world. Of course,  baby threw a tantrum when the U.S. Parks Department posted a picture of 45’s inauguration crowd alongside that of President Obama’s first inauguration. No one in their right mind would have believed that more people came to see the Oompa Loompa sworn in than any of the previous 44  presidents, but to ban the parks department from publishing anything in public.?It’s the typical reaction of a spoilt brat who  is caught out, and then resorts to red-faced hysteria in an attempt to blame others for his lies.

Don’t you think it interesting that the nylon haired one is so obsessed with size? Be it walls, crowds, ties, aircraft or  whatever, he always claims that his is bigger than anyone else’s. I wonder if he is trying to compensate for some kind of inadequacy or trying to deflect attention away from something of which he is ashamed or embarrassed. Oh, I see my error. He doesn’t experience shame or embarrassment, only anger, contempt, pride, smugness and hubris. I mean, don’t his staff have access to Photoshop? Even Stalin had a team dedicated to altering photographs. My favourite has to be that of Stalin winning the 100 metres gold medal in the 1936 Olympics. It’s the best retouching job the KGB ever did.  (Apologies to Alexei Sayle).

Of course, that was just the appetiser. The main course was right behind it, and oh, wasn’t it the most incredible, enormous shit sandwich you’ve ever seen? I’m talking of course, about the (absolutely not a) Muslim ban ( honestly). I mean, did he really think, even for a minute, that he would get away with it? Not go all Bill Hicks on you, but the balls on that guy! He must have to wear specially fitted trousers with balls that big. Does he have to use a wheelbarrow to carry around those enormous balls?

Of course, the outrage  was instantaneous. I heard that one placard being held outside JFK airport read” “First they came for the Muslims, and I said “Oh no you don’t motherfucker!”” Pastor Martin Niemoller must be very proud of that person. And the owners of art and office supply stores must be very happy. Have you tried to buy poster board, wide tipped Sharpies or any kind of paint recently? Had I the money, I’d be buying stock in Office Depot and Michaels.  A blind man on a speeding horse could see the unconstitutionality of the ban, yet as soon as Judge James Robart, a Bush 43 appointee, no less, struck down the ban, the tiny fingered one denigrated him. But then again, that’s nothing new, just ask Judge Gonzalo Curiel.

Trying to deflect blame for any future event is also straight from the Despots’ Handbook, as is singling out a specific religious group,  threatening the press and surrounding oneself with ideologues who lack basic competence. Rather than draining the swamp, as he claimed, he is filling it with the most revolting, foul slime imaginable.

It would not surprise me if he were to find an excuse to impose martial law and put troops on the street. Seriously, he has no concept of self control or that he is doing anything untoward. I think he genuinely believes his  own publicity and that this is his destiny.  No one has ever said “no” to him, hence his apoplectic responses to anyone or anything that doesn’t go his way. I’m genuinely concerned for the future of this county. I don’t think we can afford to wait two years until the mid-term elections to try to redress the balance. One of my biggest fears is that Bannon et al see him as a useful puppet and are planning to have him impeached or resign and then have Pence replace him as president, with Bannon as Veep. I know this all sounds like a whacko conspiracy theory, but if  the alternative is that he is doing all this himself, then what?

He’s already questioned the legitimacy of the judicial and legislative branches and is issuing edicts at a rate that would make Kim Jong Un jealous, and I wouldn’t put it past him to give himself even more control. To quote Abraham Lincoln, who must now be spinning in his grave at the thought of those grubby, tiny digits on his bible, once said, “Any man can handle adversity. If you want to see his true character, give him power”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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