I had a four way session today. No sniggering. I know what you are all thinking, but in fact it was not nearly as enjoyable as you may think, although just as expensive. Today was our second meeting with our lawyers, this time primarily to work out our financial needs. We met with a financial analyst last week who will be doing all the heavy lifting, but today was about short term needs, the tactical as opposed to the strategic.
After check in ( who’d think I would still be having check ins?), and going over the parenting plan – the result of another expensive meeting ( see “Year Of Decision”) – we all sat down with a budget sheet and began filling in the blanks. Ahh, Prof. L, where are you when I need you? Now to be honest, STBX has always taken care of the finances and budgeting, with yours truly just getting a bit of cash as needed. In fact, I closed down my individual account many years ago as it wasn’t needed, such was my lack of income and fiduciary involvement.
I’m sure some of you sit down every month and go through your expenses item by item until your cheque book balances to the penny. I’m also sure that some of you look at your monthly statement and respond with some variation of “What the fuck did we spend our money on?”, “We owe HOW MUCH!?!?!?!” “Are you sure this is right?”, “You have got to be fucking shitting me!” and many, many more. Such is life.
I bet that not many of you have had to sit down and spend 90 minutes teasing apart every aspect of your financial life with a pair of tweezers. How much do you spend a month on personal care products? books, papers and magazines? parking? office supplies? dry cleaning? Yeah, thought so. You probably all have an expression on your face like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick. This was my morning. Before I’d even had a bloody shower or gone to the gym. And the room was freezing. I was wearing two, yep, count ’em, two flannel shirts over my tee shirt, and it still took me over an hour to warm up. With his fees, you’d think my bloody lawyer would have warmed the room first!
I’m looking at the sheet now. Basically, once you add in my student loan, it don’t look too hot without a job. Sure, when STBX buys me out of my share in the house I will have a significant chunk of change, but that won’t last forever. Mental image. Butch and Sundance jumping off the cliff into the river to avoid the Super Posse.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still spending from joint funds, I have enough to pay my rent through March, I have “Walking Around Money” and I’m enjoying being able to pare down my lifestyle to what I need. I still eat three times a day and have enough comforts, but at some point STBX will have to drop me from the health insurance and things will get really interesting if I’m not working by then.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to go all doom and gloom on you, and I’m certain I will be working long, long before the money runs out or I lose health coverage, but at some point things start to get to you and you have to think the unthinkable.