No Regrets. 10/17/12

Today is my 20th wedding anniversary. Yeah. I know. Two entire decades ago we were in the Columbia Tower Club having our pictures taken with the most incredible floral display in history behind us. (Actually, it was for another  wedding later in the day, but what the heck, those flowers probably cost more than our honeymoon). It was a small crowd, 15 if you include the pastor, who witnessed the event before we were whisked away by limo ( a 1950s vintage Bentley, if you must know) to our suite at the Snoqualmie Lodge – “A clean place, reasonably priced”, for all you reference spotters.

Had things panned out as hoped, we would have spent today on an Hawaiian beach, Mai Tai in hand wondering if it was worth the effort to walk down to the water and pondering our dinner options. You all know the old joke – “How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans”.  As things turned out it was a pretty ordinary Wednesday – we had our regular weekly meeting with our couples therapist, I went to the gym before taking my son to his tennis lesson and then drove home.

Lest you think that this is going to turn into a pity party, think not. I had the opportunity to have a long walk and long chat with Mary Kay during the last intensive, and she emailed me later to say that she had never seen me at such peace.  I have to agree with her. I have spent so long living on the edge of chaos that it became the new norm and it took one last nudge to send me over that edge into a new state of equilibrium.

To tell the truth, I’m feeling pretty good right now. As I type this, Scott Walkers’ dulcet tones are coming from the laptop and at my elbow I have a glass of whisky. Not just any whisky either, a glass of 18 year old Glenmorangie with an Oloroso sherry finish. STBX bought it for me for our 18th anniversary and it’s weird to know that I have a bottle that is as old as my marriage, and likely to outlast it as I only open this particular bottle on special occasions.

I’m going to take the fact that I’m not an emotional wreck as a good sign. A sign that this is the way it should be. Let’s face it, if I hadn’t gotten married, we wouldn’t have had two incredible kids, I wouldn’t have gone to grad school and I wouldn’t have met any of my friends. Seems like a pretty good deal when you look at it like that. Actually, I’m in pretty good spirits – no pun intended – about the way things have turned out and that we are progressing well through a collaborative, open and amicable  process that will leave everyone involved happier, more fulfilled, freer and in better mental health than if nothing had changed.

Now, if you will excuse me, I hear the siren song of the Sixteen Men Of Tain. Slainte!

 

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