Suspicious Minds


Let me begin by saying that I know I am going to catch a load of shit from you for this post, and it is probably richly deserved, but here goes. You’re probably going to accuse me of being a hypocrite, which would be a fair enough charge, but stick with me. As I’m sure you are aware ( at least if you have read this far) that I regard myself as De Facto single, and am very much open to the possibility of moving on with my life.STBX was far from happy when she learned about this – it’s a small community – but she seems to have calmed down, and we are getting on well.

This was my weekend for the kids, and on Sunday we went to a piano recital given by one of their school friends who performed his Suzuki book one repertoire. It was too early to take them back  home anyway, but I got  a call from STBX asking me not to bring them back early as she was planning a surprise for them, and it wasn’t ready yet. As I suspected, it involved decorating the outside of the house with lights. My next thought was that she wouldn’t be able to put them up by herself, and it took no great expenditure of mental energy to work out who would be helping her..

We got there after dark and all the lights were up, not just on the porch, but on the roof line as well. I asked as casually as I could “Who helped you put the lights up?” “XXXXXXXX” came the reply.  Just as I thought. He didn’t have his kids this weekend, as I saw them at the recital with their mum.

This is the same guy I suspected STBX of being involved with even before I moved out, despite her denials of anything going on.  I’m not convinced. At the election celebration barbecue she was very attentive to him, and there really is no way to disguise a smile that is more than just friendly – her whole attitude, posture, all the little contacts just screamed something more.

So this is my dilemma. Do I just let it go? Do I  ask  him “Hey, are you two dating?” Is it any of my damn business? Do I just play along and pretend nothing is going on? The petition will be filed some time this week, and then the clock starts ticking. Another thing is, where does she get off having a go at me when I’m not seeing anyone yet and she in all probability is? Is there any moral high ground here, and if so, do I occupy it by letting go?

I know that’s a hell  of a lot of questions, but seriously, any outside perspective would be much appreciated.


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