In all honesty, though, it was only two hours. Today we met with a parenting coach to map out our parenting plan as the kids will be living with STBX.Side note: In case you think I am being insensitive or callous in referring to my wife of nearly 20 years by an acronym, I’m not. I just felt that if I kept referring to her by name I might end up being seen to demonise her, which I really don’t want to do. Also, it makes it easier for me to process all that is going on if I maintain a sense of detachment. I haven’t cried over the situation yet, and I’m pretty sure I won’t. We need to work out a “Residence plan’, and we spent two hours going over where the kids will be during the summer holidays, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, etc. It was a lot easier than I had expected, although just as tedious, but at least I know what I will be doing for Presidents’ Day on even numbered years and on Labour Day on odd numbered years.
To some extent it felt like being a deity – determining the future actions of people who don’t know that these decisions are being made for them. Even to the extent of determining appropriate ages for cell phone ownership, ear piercings, etc.
This is the sort of thing we would have worked out on an ad hoc basis, but having to put it all down on paper in one sitting made me realise that this one session would map out our kids’ schedules for at least the next eight to ten years, if not longer. One thing that came up was writing up a will and determining who would have durable power of attorney. I certainly don’t want my son at age 18 to be asked “Do you want us to end life support?” should something catastrophic happen to either of us.
I suppose it is one of those things that has to be done, but that most people don’t think about until they need to deal with it. Certainly not fun, but certainly necessary.