Category Archives: depression

Black Dog.

Not that anyone has noticed, but I’ve been quiet for a few months. Partly this was due to tiredness, but mainly due to the fact that I find the winter a particularly difficult time of year. I suffer from depression, although to be honest, I only have it, it’s the people around me who suffer from it. I’ve been medicated for several years, and it works well, but the winters in the PNW are not easy at the best of times. The cold and damp are bad enough, but the unrelenting greyness is what really gets to people.

A couple of years ago my doctor gave me another anti depressant to try, and while it worked, the side effects made it not worth my while to continue, so I decided not to continue taking it. My improved personal life helped, as did my therapist ( see earlier posts), so it wasn’t too bad, but last winter was just a bridge too far.

As you can imagine, we were slammed at work from before Thanksgiving through the end of the year, with only the few days after Thanksgiving providing any relief as people lived on leftovers. However, very shortly things ramped up again, until the nightmare that was December 23rd and 24th. We have four slicers in the department, yet for two those two days we had six, yes, six people working the Meat and Cheese counter. the only time the machines weren’t running was the brief interlude between orders. All six of us worked flat out to fill orders, yet we still had a line of customers to serve. At one point a slicer overheated and had to be taken out of service, which only made things worse.

Was there any acknowledgement of our efforts? Did anyone from Management come out and tell us how much they appreciated our herculean efforts? Were we provided with even so much as  a free coffee as reward for our work? Were we fuck! Let me tell you what we did get: We got a shitload of grief over one incident. A staff member, actually the manager of another section didn’t hear us call her number. As soon as we were made aware of this, we served her, as we would if someone else had missed their turn. Not satisfied with this, she complained, saying that one of us had spoken rudely to her, and she then went around time dissing us to all and sundry. Yeah, really! Apparently she had no responsibility to pay attention to her number being called. The offending staff member was supposed to apologise to her, but I don’t know if it ever  happened, but the damage was done.

Of course, Management never  have to take their place on the front line, don’t see how much we do, nor how short tempered some customers can be, during what is, admittedly, a very high stress time of the year. This did nothing to improve my mood and I went into the Christmas period feeling somewhat below par. What also didn’t help is that neither of my kids bothered to buy a Christmas present for my girlfriend. My son claimed that his gift was on back order and my daughter claimed that her piece of art wasn’t finished. As you can imagine I was both embarrassed and angry, and my girlfriend was understandably upset. Not a good end to the year under any circumstances.

Then there is the always reliable financial situation. I have pared my expenses to the bone, made changes to save on expenses and still I am no further ahead at the end of the month. I don’t expect to be  hip deep in cash, but it would be nice to have even slightly more cash at the end of the month than at the start. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in debt, nor am I broke, but it would make me feel a lot happier if I had a bit of leeway.

As January wore on I found myself less and less inclined to blog to the very few of you who read, and a sort of inertia took over. as you are no doubt aware, once you stop doing something it’s harder to start up again, and the longer you stop, the harder it becomes. However, I’ve decided that enough time has passed and enough noteworthy events have happened that I’m going to fire up the old blog engine and give it a good run for its’ money.

Yeah, that was the reaction I was expecting, but I’m going ahead anyway. I have a lot of ground to cover, so be aware that there may well be more posts in the next few weeks than you’d like.

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